My weight has been an issue for quite some time. I wasn’t fat or chubby growing up and I don’t remember it being an issue throughout my teenage years.
The first time I became conscious of my weight was after I had first moved to the United States. I was working at Club Med at that time and three times a day, there was a scrumptious buffet laid out. I had worked at Club Med for a few years already and the buffet and siren song of food had never been an issue. After a year in the US I had gained 60 lbs. It had gotten completely out of control. Where I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, I now had to watch what I ate.
I had to lose weight. I did it the wrong way. I went on a diet of cigarettes and Diet Coke. Do not do this, it is not healthy, and it ended up making me sicker. I had severe heartburn and was jittery and irritated.
I started playing tennis and became more active and made the right choices to eventually lose the weight. This is where I started the endless cycles of dieting. I would lose some weight, then gain it back and to then try and lose it again.
In 2006 I stopped smoking. I wanted to feel better, no so sluggish anymore but as a consequence the pounds starting to pack on. Another failed diet.
We started fertility treatment in 2007. Raging hormones, stress and disappointment led me to food once again. I had never been this heavy in my life. In 2010 I tipped the scale at over 200 lbs.
I was embarrassed and ashamed. It was time to take control. With the help of acupuncture, I was able to drop 50 lbs. I had been able to maintain a relatively healthy weight until my diagnosis in 2017.
I hit the wall. Food was comfort. Food was a safe place. I had cancer so now I was going to eat whatever I wanted. I gained 10 lbs. before the first surgery.
Chemo therapy was the most difficult. The steroids gave me the constant feeling of hunger and I could eat and eat. I would dread the scale every Friday, when they would weigh me before chemo. Every week it would be just a little bit higher than the week before.
I gained a total of 40 lbs. throughout the course of my treatment. Now it’s time to start losing the weight and adopting a new healthier lifestyle. It can’t be a diet; it has to be a life style change.
I am already down 10 lbs., but I have a long way to go. I am making conscious healthy choices on how I nourish my body. I want to lose the weight and I want my body to be as strong and healthy it can be to prevent a recurrence from happening.
Once I am healthy and healed from all the surgery, I will be able to go back to exercising. Running is what I miss the most. Running is like meditation, therapy. A nice run would help me think through things and release stress. I also can’t wait to be back on the tennis court. I haven’t picked up a racket in two years.
One thought on “Weight gain”
ETA on running again? Soon come.. right?